Kaonashi Ga Suki

Well well well. It’s here at last. Another year of American Idol has started, with tonight’s episode focusing on the Chicago auditions. The big three (Simon, Randy, and Paula) were back and resumed their usual positions behind the long black table.

As my boyfriend and I watched, we noticed something was slightly different about the judges though. Yes, Simon’s still a dick, Randy’s still using “dawg” on every sentence, and Paula’s still sweet and wishy washy. But we noticed that they seem to be much stricter this time around. Often they weren’t giving people the whole 30 seconds to audtion, and they cut people who seemed to actually be able to sing. They had no patience for anyone trying to pull any bullshit gimmicks (like stupid costumes). I don’t know if anyone else noticed that. Perhaps they just set the bar a lot higher this year, or maybe there were so many auditioners that they had to cut audtions shorter this time. I don’t know.

I always find it amazing that people who were rejected get so pissed off and start cussing everyone out- the judges, the other contestants, etc. They rant and bitch about how they’re “going to make it big someday, and American Idol sucks blah blah blah whine whine”. One whiny bitch was going on about how much better she is compared to the other contestants, and that she’s a lot better than Carrie Underwood. The best part is when another woman came out with the coveted golden ticket sheet. The whiny woman started grilling her about what the judges said and what she sang, and the whiny woman says something like, “You ain’t that great. I’m better than you. Why didn’t they pick me?” The chosen woman challenged the first woman to sing something, which she did. To be honest, the whiny woman wasn’t that bad. She then tells the chosen woman to sing, to which she replies, “Nah, I don’t have to. This yellow paper says it all,” and walks away. Aw. Some.

Why aren’t people aware of their whether or not they suck? I mean, be realistic about it. Just because your parents say that you’re a great singer doesn’t mean that you’re actually good. Most of the time, they’re LYING TO YOU. That’s because they just don’t want to hurt your feelings. I wish more friends and family practiced tough love and tell people the truth. If my brother decides to try out for AI, I would definitely tell him not to waste his time because he can’t carry a note. He’s never had training (karaoke doesn’t count), his voice cracks when he tries to hit high notes, and he screams into the mike. It’s better for a person to face reality from his family and friends than be humiliated on national television.

It’s pretty obvious that most of these people have never been to an audition before. First of all, so many of them are unprepared. They don’t remember the words to the song; hell, one of them didn’t even know the NAME of the song he was trying to sing! Second, a lot of them take rejection really hard. I mean, they’re crying and screaming. Yes, Simon is a rude bastard, but real singers who have been to many auditions expect harsh criticism from judges. They’re not supposed to hold your hand. They give it to you straight.

As for the show itself, I was surprised to see it actually start off with a positive note- literally. Normally, they tend to show the crappiest, most horrible singers who were booted off. Instead tonight’s show started off by showing about 4 people who were great, and who subsequently were told, “You’re going to Hollywood!” I thought that was cool of them to do that.

Of course, no AI audition episode will be complete without the weirdos. There was a MAN who dressed up as fuckin’ Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. I wish I could make this up. There was some blonde chick who looked and acted like she had the IQ of a walnut and a very, very bad tan. She thought she was Christina Aguilera or something. There was some chick in a Rainbow Brite costume waiting in the lobby- unfortunately they didn’t focus on her. Near the end, there was this weird barefoot motherfucker who was bouncing around like Tigger. He must have had a lot of sugar that day. Not surprisingly, he sucked really bad, but for some INSANE reason, both Randy and Paula agreed to put him in! I hope he’s the first guy that gets cut in Hollywood.

Anyway, tommorow’s episode will feature Colorado auditions. Looking forward to it!

American Idol 5, auditions, crappy singers, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson