Little White Lies
Published by Toni August 31st, 2005 in Uncategorized.One of the things your parents teach you as a kid is not to lie. They tell you that lying is wrong and that it makes people distrustful of you.
However, this never stopped my mom from telling little white lies herself- and often getting me involved in it.
Even as a child, I heard all sorts of white lies from my mom. Most are aimed at making either her and/or the rest of the family look better. She has always lied about her age to her friends and co-workers (still does). She has lied about her hair color (as in, denying that she colors it- and had even convinced me to do so) and has lied about how much she and my dad paid for their car.
See, the thing is that, although it doesn’t really matter to me whether or not she tells these little white lies to other people, it matters when I get brought into the mix. I’ve always felt uncomfortable being put in a situation where I’m forced to lie. For example, when I was still in college she told me that she’d told her co-worker that I didn’t receive any loans or grants for financial aid- instead, I supposedly won a bunch of scholarships. Apparently this person wanted to talk to me since her own daughter was about to start school and just wanted some advice. I wanted to tell her the truth about the kinds of federal financial aid I had, but my mom’s lie had made it impossible for me to do so, since I didn’t want to make my mom look like a liar.
I think the thing is that I don’t like these kinds of little white lies in general. I don’t see the point in making up stuff to tell people and then worry about having to keep it straight. What’s the big deal if she colored her hair? Or that she’s 53? Or that she bought her shoes on sale at Macy’s instead of at Nordstrom’s? And who bloody cares that I got grants and loans to finance my education?
Of course we all want to look good in front of other people, but I think there are better ways to do this than making up stories. There’s always the chance that one day you’ll slip up or someone else will say something to contradict you, and then what? Suddenly you look like the biggest liar, and people will start wondering what else you haven’t been truthful about.
I don’t know- I just think that little white lies can be too much of a hassle.
5 Responses to “Little White Lies”
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How unfortunate for you. The only time I had to lie for my parents was in the movie theater box office. Had to get that “under-8″ price.
lying through someone elses teeth is the art.
If you don’t feel comfortable about covering for your mom, tell her so and then when people ask you about something your mom has said, either tell the truth, or say something like, “You’d have to ask her about that.”
I believe that little white lies are what hold our society together. If we all told the truth, the world would be a better place, but the fact of the matter is that people genearlly can’t handle the truth, and want to be lied to.
Not lied to about things like “Hey, OJ, do you know what happend to Ron and Nicole?” or “Do you know where the money in the cash register went?”
People want to hear lies like, “No, you’re ass isn’t big”, “I really like your new souffle recipe” and “That is one cute baby”.
I’m not saying that people should just start telling the truth (and nothing but the truth), but life sure requires less effort if you don’t get caught up telling little white lies to people. There’s an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (I know I’m showing off my inner geek here) where Lwaxana Troi tells one of the other characters (I think it was Alexander Rozhenko), “It’s always better to tell the truth. Then you don’t have to remember what you lied about.”
when you titled your entry “white lies,” i didn’t know the magnitude of the lies. i wouldn’t call some of those examples you listed “white lies,” but outright lies to me, for the sake of “keeping face.” hopefully there is less fakeness in our generation. i also minimize lying because it’s just too hard to keep track of.
bug- Oh, my parents have definitely done the same thing. They said that my sister was “10 and under” up to when she was 13, I think.
pirate- An art I should like to master some day.
Dave- Yes, you’re right in that many little white lies hold our society together. No marriages will last if the husband honestly tells his wife, “Wow, check out those crows feet on your face!” or if the wife said, “Honey, has your penis shrunk over the years, or has your gut grown bigger?”
Wyn- Hmmm…but aren’t some white lies told to “keep face”?