Kaonashi Ga Suki

Back in college, my friend, who I’ll call Ariel, invited me to come down to San Diego for her birthday weekend. Although I may save the events of the actual birthday party for another post, I will say that I met a very cute sailor boy at her party. Ironically enough, he had the same name as my ex-boyfriend (though said ex and I got back together and have been together ever since), but for some reason it didn’t really bother me that much.

The next night one of Ariel’s friends had a party at his parents’ house while they were away. Navy Boy was there too. Again, a lot of crazy stuff happened at that party as well, stuff that I wonder whether or not to talk about in the future. We’ll see I will say that I had a whole, whole, whole lot to drink.

Later that night navy boy and I wanted to be alone. We found an empty bedroom upstairs and flopped on the bed. Well lubricated with alcohol, I was very relaxed and flirty with him.

We were talking for a bit when I started feeling funny. I looked up, and the ceiling seemed to be spinning. My head felt heavy. I started heaving violently.

“I don’t feel good,” I mumbled. “I feel kind of sick.”

“Oh, there’s a bathroom outside. Let me help you up,” he said.

“Too late!” I said as heaved one more time.

BLORF.

As I turned to my side, I barfed. On the bed. On myself.

“Whoa!” he yelled in surprise, moving away from me to avoid being splattered.

“Too late…” I repeated, my words cut off by more puke gushing out of my mouth.

I was a complete mess.

First of all, since my hands were clutching my mouth trying to hold it in, they became drenched with alcohol flavored vomit. Second, because my hands were over my mouth, the vomit spilled over the sides of my mouth and got all over the rest of my face. Third, because I was lying on my side, some of it got on my hair as well.

I was mortified.

Absolutely mortified.

Here I was, trying to impress this guy, trying to be cute and flirty- and I throw up on myself…in front of him.

“Oh my God…are you all right?” Navy Boy asked.

“Yeah…I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I kept saying.

“No, that’s all right. Come on, let’s go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up,” he said.

Once we got to the bathroom, we both saw my reflection in the bright lights.

Although Navy Boy was really supportive and cool about the situation, he still couldn’t help laughing. “You’ve got puke in your hair,” he said, chuckling. “Oh man, I cannot believe you just puked on yourself. This is too funny.”

“Oh my God…this is horrible…I am so sorry about this,” I said, barely recognizing myself in the reflection.

“That’s ok, that’s ok,” he said, as he helped me clean my face and hands.

Actually, there’s more to this story. It gets kind of racy, and I wonder whether or not I should tell the rest?