Kaonashi Ga Suki

I met the cartoonist in a “South Park” newsgroup. I had announced to the group that the local theater was showing “Cannibal: the Musical”, the first movie ever made by the “South Park” creators. The cartoonist posted that he’d seen “Cannibal” before and would love to see it again, then suggested that perhaps we watch it together. He didn’t hint that it was a “date” date, but more of just two “South Park” fans meeting each other.

I learned quite a bit about him. He was a really funny and cool guy, but the best part was that he actually worked on “South Park”. That totally blew my mind, to know someone who actually worked on one of my favorite shows. He said that he was one of the people in charge of making sure the characters’ mouths matched the dialogue.

About two weeks later (Halloween) the cartoonist invited me to watch a special showing of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”. For those of you who don’t know, in many cases a group of actors act out scenes from the movie while the movie is showing, and there is a lot of audience participation as well. I was dressed in a French Maid costume and my cartoonist friend said that I could say that I’m dressed as Magenta. It was a really fun and awesome experience, and if any of you ever have the chance to see “Rocky Horror” in this fashion I say GO FOR IT! You’ll have a really great time. Little did I know that after the show my evening was going to get more interesting.

We went back to my apartment, and I don’t know what happened but we ended up cuddling on the couch. Before I knew it, we started kissing. It was really strange. What’s even stranger was that I continued to kiss him even though he had the worst breath known to man. It was just nasty.

We started officially going out about a week later. I definitely did not see the guy as “marriage” material or even just long term boyfriend material, but he was cool and fun to be with so I figured to just enjoy the ride.

Things quickly got sour, however, the more I got to know him. His foul breath was just the beginning.

The main thing I didn’t like about him was that he had a holier-than-thou attitude. For one thing, he was a strict vegan, and while I didn’t have a problem with that, he certainly had problems with meat-eaters. He’d send me and his other friends these emails about the evils of red meat, which I found really irritating. Furthermore, it was difficult going out to dinner with him, since he couldn’t eat most of the things in the menu.

He had a similar haughty attitude towards organized religion. He’d say stuff like how foolish people are who believe in a higher power, etc, even though he knew I’m Catholic.

One time we visited my best friend in San Diego. We were all hanging out at my friend’s boyfriend’s house when the cartoonist found that the boyfriend’s roommate owned several bootlegged copies of video games. The cartoonist became furious and started going off on the roommate on how this wasn’t fair to the video game creators, they were being robbed, etc. etc. While that may be true, is it right for a guest to berate someone in their own house? I was so embarrassed and had to apologize profusely to my friend and her boyfriend’s roommate.

I only went out with him for about two weeks when I decided to break it off, though I asked that we remain friends and he was cool with that. We still hung out every now and then, but not nearly as often as we used to.

In addition to what I’d mentioned so far, his biggest faux pas was still to come.

Nearly a year had passed when he contacted me again, inviting me to see a movie. I hadn’t seen him in a while and thought, “Hey- why not?”

After the movie we returned to my apartment to hang out. At the same time, one of my old roommates (I’ll call her L) had stopped by. She was a great roommate and a really sweet girl and it was good to see her again.

Since L graduated the year before, one of my other (current) roommates asked her what she’d been up to since she left school. L explained that she’d been working as a teacher’s assistant at an elementary school.

“Heh, as if that’s a real job,” the cartoonist muttered, though it was still loud enough for me and one of my other roommates to hear. L didn’t seem to hear what he said since she kept on talking.

The subject then turns to L and her boyfriend. Unfortunately I didn’t hear his comment, but my roommates later told me that he said something to L like, “He’s that big guy, right? I can’t believe that someone like you is dating a big guy like him.” You see, L is a small, petite girl with a nice body while her boyfriend M is a large, admittedly somewhat overweight guy.

L’s eyes grew wide, but kept her composure…for a minute. She then excused herself and went in one of the bedrooms. Two of my roommates followed suit. Curious, I went after them but noticed the door was shut. I heard her screaming furiously inside. Since everyone had left the living room, the cartoonist took this opportunity to say goodnight and go home.

A few minutes later L and my other roommates emerged. I apologized to her and them, and when I found out what he’d said about L and her boyfriend, apologized even more.

I felt awful and angry that this jackass would insult one of my roommates -one of my friends- in my apartment. In her old apartment. In front of my other friends.

It was the last straw. I decided to cut him out of my life.