Kaonashi Ga Suki

I’m a huge American Idol fan. I don’t watch any reality shows except this one, namely because I like music. I don’t give a crap about people being voted off islands, bachelors choosing wives, or who gets to be the next sycophant for Donald Trump. I just like to hear people sing.

I don’t like to just watch American Idol; I like to talk about it as well. As we sit and watch, my parents and I act as armchair (actually, sofa) judges, making comments about each contestant. And after the show my bf and I call each other to share opinions about what we just watched. But I don’t stop there. Like many other Idol fans, I also enjoy going online to find out what other people think. Although I check out forums such as Television Without Pity, one of my frequent haunts is DJ Slim’s AI4 blog. After every episode, he posts his opinions and people are invited to comment.

Overall, everyone gets along on DJ Slim’s blog. People are really cool and friendly and put in their 2 cents about the show. We of course, have our favorites and least favorites and make certain comments about them. However, this week I apparently created a disturbance in the Force when a poster got mad at me of poking fun of Anwar, the finalist who was eliminated this week.

The poster, an Anwar fan, was angered at a comment I made about Anwar holding Ryan Seacrest’s hand a little longer than usual after they shook hands. She said that my comment was rude, irrelevant to the show, offended her, and that a person’s sexual orientation shouldn’t matter. I retorted that since she makes fun of the other contestants, why shouldn’t it be ok to make fun of Anwar? To which she replied that making fun of someone’s sexuality is wrong like making fun of someone mentally handicapped, or of someone’s religion, and that I should grow up. I then replied that she herself made a similar comment about Ryan just last week, which questioned HIS sexuality. Furthermore, I said that I have several close gay friends, and am sure that none of them would have found my comment offensive.

I have nothing against this person, or Anwar. I just wish it didn’t get this ugly.

My point of this little story is that as fun as it is participating in online discussions, someone is bound to be offended by someone else, and it’s frustrating. Yes, I know that anonymity of the Internet has a tendency to make people bolder and speak their mind, potentially (or purposefully) insulting others. However, I think for the most part, people are genuinely respectful of other’s opinions, or at least they try to be. But no matter how hard some people try, there’s always going to be one thin-skinned person who will complain that he/she was offended, and that kills the fun out of these discussions because more likely than not, posters eventually attack each other personally, and the original point of the argument is lost.

Take the IMDB forums, for instance. A typical thread goes like this:

Poster A: Sin City is the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s so violent, and the acting sucks.
Poster B: You’re a complete moron and know nothing about movies.
Poster C: Yeah, you must be a complete pussy to not be able to handle the violence.
Poster A: Oh yeah? Well you guys who liked this movie must be serial killers in the making.

Or how about Idolforums.com:

Poster A: I think Ruben is a better singer than Clay.
Claymate B: Ruben sucks! Clay should have won!!!!
Claymates C: Yeah. Clay wuz robbed!!!
Claymates D-Z: You must be deaf if you think that Ruben is better than Clay!!!

Believe me, I am not making up these scenarios. You can find them for yourself, and it wouldn’t even be that hard to find.

This is a major reason why I don’t like talking about more sensitive issues such as politics and religion. Discussion is good until someone get offended, and they retailate, thus offending someone else, and a vicious cycle ensues. I tried talking a little about politics a couple of times during the election, and sure enough a few people had some very strong opinions about one thing or another. Of course I know that people won’t always agree with me even if it wasn’t a sensitive issue, and I know there’s a chance that something might develop between my commentors, but at least I try to make things as harmonious as possible.

At the same time, people should understand that not everyone will agree with them, and yes- they may make fun of what they like. If they will make fun of something or someone, they have to be able to deal with it in return. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, right? Sure, some people can go too far and be vicious with a comment, and that’s where the line should be drawn, but really- was it so bad what I said about Anwar? Believe me, others have made much, much cruder jokes about him being gay. All I said was that I noticed he was holding Ryan’s hand.