Kaonashi Ga Suki

There are many reasons why it’s not a good idea to pass out drunk at a friend’s house. This is one of them.

During my junior year in college I lived in a campus owned aparment with 5 other girls. We were a fun loving bunch and often threw parties which mainly consisted of wanton, drunken debauchery-and sometimes a little pot. (To answer your question, no I never did pot- but many of my roommates did!).

Near the end of winter break two of my roommates threw a huge bash at our apartment while I was gone. These two girls, who I’ll call H and S, stayed in the same bedroom and were remarkably alike with the exception of their ethnicities. Both were tall and slender, with long dark hair. Both were psychology majors and worked on campus. Both loved clubbing and were very attractive (or as guys might put it, “smokin’ hot”). As a result, most of their “guy friends” secretly wished they were much more than that. Mike was one of these guys.

Mike (not his real name but hey- everyone knows a Mike! ) apparently had a small secret crush on H. Alas, she had a boyfriend, and Mike had no choice but to continue playing the role of H’s “supportive guy friend”. But Mike kept hoping that someday maybe, just maybe…

Then came the night of the big party. Beer and alcohol flowed throughout the apartment like a river. Mike was having a great time, pounding one drink after another, chatting up a storm with everyone especially the lovely Ms. H. But all good things must come to an end, and the party eventually died down. People stumbled back to their respective apartments, and designated drivers carried their inebriated passengers to their cars to take them home. S left with a friend while H went back to her own room. Mike however, came alone but was too drunk to drive, so he asked if he could crash there. And crash he did. Mike passed out on the comfy seat next to the couch.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, a figure approached the sleeping Mike. She crouched in front of him and started to caress his face ever so gently. She then planted small kisses on his cheek, and her hands wandered all over his chest. At first Mike thought he was dreaming, but he half awoke when he realized that the girl’s hands had moved down his pants and was fondling his crotch. “H!” he thought, and started to kiss her fervently. Her hands had unbuckled his pants and made their way inside his pants. Mike let out a groan of pleasure- he couldn’t believe this was happening to him! It was too good to be true.

And it was.

Mike’s eyes were closed the whole time, for he wanted to savor every minute of it. But he now wanted to open them to take in all of H’s beauty. He opened his eyes. And screamed.

It wasn’t H.

It was Godzilla.

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Inside her room H slept soundly. The party was a big hit and she was enjoying a much needed rest. Her peaceful slumber was interrupted when she heard a scream of terror come out of the living room. The screamer sounded male. It was followed by a scream of surprise. This time the screamer sounded female. “What’s going on out there?” she wondered.

A few minutes later she heard footsteps hastily approaching the bathroom (which was next to her room), followed by the sound of the bathroom door slamming. Almost at the same time, she heard footsteps running furiously towards the front door, followed by a slam.

Confused but too sleepy to deal with it, H went back to sleep.

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I think many guys will agree to the notion that many pretty girls have at least one friend whom they’d consider unattractive. S had a friend like this. And while I can’t remember her real name, I do know that she was known to some guys as Godzilla. She wasn’t called Godzilla because she was fat, but more because of her looks and because of her aggressive behavior. She had a tendency to attack innocent, unconscious guys- sexually. According to S, Godzilla had done the same thing to a guy friend of hers. We’ll call him Alex. The poor bastard was really high when she started molesting him. The alcohol and drugs in Alex’s body had rendered him too weak to fight her sexual advances, and Godzilla threw herself on top of him, doing the same things she did to Mike. I don’t know how Alex got out of it, but somehow he managed to escape her clutches.

According to H and S, later that week Alex and Mike shared their experiences and bonded over it. Mike described having to brush his teeth about 6 times and taking several showers that day, while Alex felt that he was violated.

I don’t know what became of Alex, Mike, and Godzilla, but I sure hope the boys learned their lesson about passing out in other people’s residences!