Kaonashi Ga Suki

Were you ever picked on as a kid? Unfortunately, my younger brother was picked on a lot. I think it was mainly because he was small and really shy (and still is shy, to some degree). Although I couldn’t protect him from everyone who picked on him, there was this one time when I channeled the spirit of Bruce Lee…

*cue flashback*

It was early 1985. My brother and I had come to the US just the year before, so we were still fresh off the boat. In fact, you could say that were quite FOBulous. I was in fourth grade and he was in second, and we went to Pio Pico Elementary School in lil’ ol’ Pico Rivera. Our mascot was the Road Runner. Yes, the WB Road Runner. I don’t know how the school ever got away without being sued.

One day during recess I saw that this tubby Mexican kid was harassing my brother. I didn’t know who he was and didn’t know the situation, but hey he was picking on my little brother. So I sprang into action. I leaped off the swings and walked over to the kid. I don’t remember the full conversation between us except that I told him to leave my brother alone. He didn’t budge- after all, I was just a girl. What could I possibly do to him? I wasn’t really going to fight this kid; after all, he was bigger than me, not to mention that I didn’t want to get suspended. But I had to do something. Although I couldn’t use real physical force, I figured I could fake him out. So I turned into Bruce Lee.

“WOAAAAAGGGHHH…” I screeched ominously, lifting my leg in the air. Tubby just stared at me.

“HI-YAAAHHH!” I kicked my leg out at Tubby (not hitting him) and leaped forward, swinging my arms like I’d seen Bruce do in the movies. At first Tubby looked like he was going to fight back, but I couldn’t let that happen. I had to scare him enough so he would run away. I spun around threateningly, my arms flailing everywhere. His eyes were huge and terrified. I kept kicking my leg out at him. “HI-YAH! HI-YAH!” kind of like how Chun Li kicks out her leg in the Street Fighter games.

Tubby was downright frightened. He couldn’t deal with a kung-fu master like myself and fled. I never saw that kid bother my brother again after that incident.

*end flashback*

So you see ladies and gentlemen, violence is not always the answer. Sometimes all it takes is to psych the bully out…or act like a complete lunatic.